Saturday, August 28, 2010
Foul Stench
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Grief
I wish I had never had cause to understand grief's components. However, when my second parent died in 1998, I felt anguish and sorrow so severely, I was unable to put such bereavement into words until recently.
My mom died in 1990 after a long, painful tedious battle with cancer. Her death was bittersweet; I was relieved her cancer-ridden body was free from more suffering, but selfishly I wanted her here on this earth. I wanted her to play a significant role in my daughter's life, and I wanted my best friend, my confidante, my precious mother, to remain in mine.
Then, when my father died unexpectedly in 1998 from a complication from a rare auto-immune disease, all of the sadness and distress I felt at my mom's death resurfaced. The new grief seemed to merge with my past misery. My generous, intelligent mentor and daddy was no longer part of my life, and the compounded mental and emotional pain crushed me.
I fully understood broken-heartedness. My heart was severed into razor-sharp shards, and I experienced an ache that cut through every fiber of my mind and body. The weighty, oppressive bereavement was almost more than I could bear, and I barely functioned for quite a while.
Such grief is often experienced at the death of a beloved parent, a spouse, a child, or a childhood friend, but it also may rear its powerful head at the loss of a job, at the death of a marriage, at the realization that certain expectations and aspirations will remain unfulfilled, or at the sorrow felt over the sin of this world.
A person's process of grief should never be labeled as right or wrong. . . it just is what it is. Well-meaning family members and friends often tried to instruct me on how long grief should last, but I certainly never found a universal expiration date.
Often the process is described as circular because it does not follow a sequential, chronological list, where one phase after another is faced and completed. Instead, a person may begin one phase, may stop part way through, may move on to another aspect, and then return to a previous one. Some mourners experience more than one stage at a time, skip one all together, or remain planted in one for an extended period of time. Grief does not follow any particular pattern! Grief is unique to each individual, and as long as it is not physically or emotionally destructive, I say, "Let it run its natural course."
Many articles I read included common components:
- Shock - This includes numbness, disbelief, and a lack of reality. Shock is a defense mechanism that allows us to survive emotionally. However, coming to terms with the loss is essential in the healing process.
- Denial - Instinctively we do not want to face the occurrence of something bad. Denial is thoughts or words such as, "I don't believe it; it can't be!" Grief is painful emotionally and physically, and it is critical not to suppress it through denial. Acceptance of the loss is important.
- Bargaining - This involves mental "what ifs" and "if onlys".
- Guilt - This stage is often difficult to deal with alone. It may ultimately be resolved by understanding that all of us are humans, who give the best and worst of ourselves to others. Their actions or reactions to us are their responsibility, not ours.
- Anger - This phase must be handled carefully because these complicated reactions can be destructive to ourselves, as well as to others. This phase may include a yearning or pining for the deceased, and weeping, anxiety, and confusion may accompany anger.
- Depression - This component may include a strong desire to withdraw and disengage from others and from enjoyed activities. Yearning may become less intense, but feelings of apathy may intensify. If this deep emotional sorrow manifests itself physically, seeking counseling, a support group, or medical assistance for chemical imbalances may be necessary.
- Resignation - A new state of normalcy may emerge; energy levels increase, and an interest to rejoin life returns as the loss is accepted as reality.
- Acceptance and Hope - Sadness may still linger, but acceptance allows us to move forward without grief's constant interference. Gradually painful memories diminish, while positive warm memories emerge. New feelings that life still has purpose and meaning arise.
Our Heavenly Father does not promise immediate comfort, yet He certainly provides us with many tools for healing - His Word, His Son Jesus, His children, His Holy Spirit, and Himself. We know Jesus experienced grief (He wept at Lazarus' tomb - not because Lazarus was dead, but because of the blindness and unbelief of followers; i.e., He wept for blindness and missed opportunities; He wept over Jerusalem). We know that God allows grief to enter our lives, and often it is a path - a path to Himself.
Complete comfort and healing from the horrific pangs of grief is however, promised to us in heaven, because no tears will be present there. Then God shall wipe away all tears from our eyes. Mourners on this earth will be comforted by hope of the world to come. Mourners on this earth are comforted because they trust Jesus Christ!
These verses are just a smattering of Scripture that have helped me during times of grief:
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip -
He who watches over you will not slumber;
Indeed, He who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD watches over you -
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep you from all harm-
He will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.
Psalm 121
for I have put my trust in you.
for to you I lift up my soul."
Psalm 143:8
"Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress;
my soul and my body with grief."
"Though He brings grief, He will show compassion,
Lamentations 3:32
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Genuine Meditation
Friday, August 20, 2010
Contentment in Chaos
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Faith Healed Her
In April 2002, a friend asked me to share my favorite Bible miracle with her. At first I thought her request was odd, but I soon discoved that decideing which of Jesus' miracles was my favorite was a profound exercise. I chose Matthew 9:18-22 (cf. Mark 5:24-34).
A lowly, pitiful, afflicted woman had so much faith that she knew if she touched just the edge of Jesus' cloak she would be healed. Her 12-year illness branded her ceremonially unclean (Leviticus 15:25-33), and she was shunned and ostracized. Anyone she touched was also considered "unclean", so the fact that Jesus warmly and openly received her touch was nothing less than amazing. He loved the unlovable.
Doctors prodded, poked, and treated her, yet to no avail. Her condition worsened from their ministrations. Her existence was wretched, lonely, and dismal, yet she pushes her way purposefully and steadfastly though a large crowd because she heard about Jesus. Her actions were faith personified. This woman believed in Jesus' authority without question; she recognized she needed His help; she humbled herself more than the so-called religious ones, and Jesus demonstrated His healing intervention and power to its fullest. He healed her physical malady immediately, and He healed her emotionally and mentally, as well, (Mark 5:29, "Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.") She was healed becaus God graciously determined to heal her. Then, Jesus would not allow her to recede into the crowd with publicly commended her faith and assuring her that she was permanently healed. That public declaration would have restored her to the community who had shunned her. All I can say is, "WOW!" and "AMEN!"
Jesus is still willing and eager to touch us in our brokenness that we might be made whole. Whether our malady is physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual, we must come to Him with full faith that in His perfect timing, He will heal us. Through faith, our "wait" can be just as blessed, as an actual complete healing.
Lord, thank You for teaching me once again to come to You in full faith. Many of my expectations revolve around my timing, and I am learning that I must wait upon You. Even if healing does not come until I see You face to face, I praise You now for Your promises, knowing that they are absolute and true. Amen.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Sojourner
Until this year, I did not understand this idea of living temporarily for a time in a place, a stranger or alien in a foreign land. For the first time, I took notice of this beautiful concept of being a "sojourner" in 1 Peter 1:1.
Bible translations (King James, NIV, NASB, etc.) render the word differently: foreigners; strangers; scattered ones; aliens in a foreign land; people scattered by God; those from a foreign country who reside in a new land by the side of the native people; pilgrims; and God's chosen people who are temporary residents away from their true home.
As Christians, we are not permanent residents on this earth, but we are sojourners - we are strangers and exiles on this earth. We reside as aliens scattered throughout this world, but we are not of this world. Our true home, our native land, the one we yearn for or look to with deep homesickness is heaven. Heaven is our native country.
Pouring our money, talents, energies, and time into the "stuff" of this world, with the mindset that they are permanent, is succumbing to worldliness. Becoming entrenched or obsessed with a love for these transitory tools is idolatry.
"Our homeland is in heaven, and we are waiting for our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, to come from heaven. By His power to rule all things, He will change our humble bodies and make them like His own glorious body." Philippians 3:20-21 New Century Version
"But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who by the power that enables Him to bring everything under His control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like His glorious body." Philippians 3:20-21 NIV
"But there's far more to life for us. We're citizens of high heaven! We're waiting the arrival of the Savior, the Master, Jesus Christ, who will transform our earthly bodies into glorious bodies like His own. He'll make us beautiful and whole with the same powerful skill by which He is putting everything as it should be, under and around Him." Philippians 3:20-21 the Message
This Greek word for God's scattered chosen ones is also found in:
"All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth." Hebrews 11:13 NIV
"Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul." 1 Peter 2:11 NIV
May this be our prayer!
"Here I pause in my sojourning, giving thanks for having come,
come to trust, at every turning, God will guide me safely home.
Jesus sough me when a stranger, wandering from the fold of God,
Came to rescue me from danger, precious presence, precious blood."
Robert Robinson (1735-1790), Calvinist Methodist preacher and hymn-writer. New Century Hymnal (1995). "Come, O Fount of Every Blessing," 1.5-8 (1758).
Here_I_pause_in_my_sojourning_giving_thanks. Dictionary.com. Columbia World of Quotations. Columbia University Press, 1996.
http://quotes.dictionary.com/Here_I_pause_in_my_sojourning_giving_thanks (accessed: August 14,2010.)
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Debate or Discussion?
I cheat you of your God-given destiny...because
you demand your own way.
I cheat you of contentment...because you
'deserve better than this.'
I cheat you of knowledge...because you already
know it all.
I cheat you of healing...because you're too full of
me to forgive.
I cheat you of holiness...because you refuse to
admit when you're wrong.
I cheat you of vision...because you'd rather look
in the mirror than out a window.
I cheat you of genuine friendship...because
nobody's going to know the real you.
I cheat you of love...because real romance
demands sacrifice.
I cheat you of greatness in heaven...because you
refuse to wash another's feet on earth.
I cheat you of God's glory...because I convince
you to seek your own.
My name is Pride. I am a cheater.
You like me because you think I'm always looking
out for you. Untrue.
I'm looking to make a fool of you.
God has so much for you, I admit, but don't worry...
If you stick with me
You'll never know."
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Captive
Friday, August 6, 2010
Humility
Therefore, questions like these always make me squirm:
- Why would anyone choose to go his or her own way (acting independently) without God, instead of walking with Him?
- Why would anyone choose the world instead of choosing to follow his or her Lord and Master (taking control)?
- Why would anyone live a life without thanking God daily for all He has provided (living in denial)?
Why would I choose to hinder God's influence in my life?
Simply put, because I was and I can be arrogant and prideful.
The word "arrogance" is defined by WordNet 2.0, 2003 Princeton University as "overbearing pride and lordliness". Guess what its antonyms are ... humility, meekness, and submission?
When I examined Christlike humility, I discovered these highpoints. According to Easton's 1897 Bible Dictionary:
Humility is:
- a prominent Christian grace (Romans 12:3; 1 Peter 5:5b {my addition}; Romans 15:17-18; 2 Corinthians 3:5; Philippians 4:11-13)
- is a state of mind, well-pleasing to God; it preserves the soul in tranquility (1 Peter 3:4)
- makes us patient under trials (Job 1:22)
- is a trait Christ exemplified perfectly (Isaiah 53:1-10 {my addition}; Philippians 2:1-8 {my addition})
We should be led then by a remembrance of our sins, and by the thought that humility is a way to honor God. (Lamentations 3:39; Deuteronomy 8:2-3 {my addition}; Proverbs 16:18; Isaiah 66:2; Isaiah 13:11; Romans 5:8).
Jesus was humble in behavior, attitude, and spirit; He was not arrogant or prideful in the least bit, ever. He showed deferential and submissive respect to His Father, even unto death on a cross.
Easton's 1897 Bible Dictionary says that humility is the "great paradox in Christianity that is the avenue to glory" (my emphasis).
Humility then, is a choice, my choice, and I need to make this purposeful decision on a moment by moment basis. Choosing to submit myself to God's will, choosing to rank myself below others reduces my propensity toward a prideful existence. Having a modest opinion of myself and choosing to behave in an unassuming manner, devoid of all haughtiness, honors God. Humility is a true confession of my spiritual unworthiness and leads me to praising God!
The following verses encourage me to seek a life-attitude of meekness:
"Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up." James 4:10
"You save the humble but bring low those whose eyes are haughty." Psalm 18:27
"But He gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:
'God opposes the proud
but gives grace to the humble.'
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and He will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded." James 4:6-8
Commentator Matthew Henry teaches us to resist pride in our hearts, if we do not want God to resist us. God gives honor and help to the humble; He gives grace as opposed to disgrace.
Henry reminds us to submit ourselves entirely to God, just as James teaches in chapter 4. As Christians, we should forsake the friendship of this world and guard against the prevailing envy and pride in natural men. By grace we must learn to glory and celebrate in our submissions to God.
Dear Heavenly Father, bring my rebellious heart to your feet, so I may not be estranged from you, not even for a minute. Teach me and enable me to draw nigh to you. Oh, that I may come to you with a clean heart, with holy hands lifted high! Oh, that I may choose daily to set aside my pride, my arrogance, my haughtiness, and my worldliness, so I may no longer cringe when I hear the word "humility." Amen!
You may want to continue worshiping the Lord by praying this Prayer of Humility. (This prayer was shared with me without authorship. If you identify the author, I will add that reference.)
You may add what is appropriate for yourselves:
Hear me, O Jesus, meek and humble of heart. Please deliver me from:
The desire of being esteemed,
The desire of being extolled,
The deisre of being honored,
The desire of being praised,
The desire of being first among others,
The desire of being consulted,
The desire of being approved,
The fear of being humiliated,
The fear of being despised,
The fear of suffering human rebukes,
The fear of being forgotten,
The fear of being ridiculed,
The fear of being wronged,
Jesus, please grant me the grace to desire:
That others may be loved more than I,
That others may be esteemed more than I,
That, in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease,
That others may be chosen and I set aside,
That others may be praised and I go unnoticed,
That others may be preferred to me in everything,
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should.
Amen.