The other day I think my age and my upbringing by a gracious and genteel Southern mom surfaced. A young teenage girl automatically addressed me by my first name, without asking permission to do so. The hair on the back of my neck stood up, and after getting over the shock that I was actually offended, I started considering why I was so irritated.
I barely knew this young lady, and she certainly did not know me, yet she did not hesitate to call her elder (significantly her elder) by a first name. She presumed she was my equal, and she assumed I would not mind.
I felt disrespected. My Southern mother taught me to address my elders "Mr., Mrs., or Miss", and I always answered, "Yes, ma'am," "No, ma'am," or "Yes, sir," "No, sir." Those polite responses were automatic. They showed respect and a submission to the wisdom and authority of one who was older. If an adult ever granted me permission to refer to them by their first name, I felt honored and privileged!
The word "respect" is defined as: esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability; to hold in esteem or honor; to show regard or consideration for; to show deferential regard for; a willingness to show consideration and appreciation. Respect is commonly the result of admiration, together with deference. Esteem is deference combined with admiration and affection.
I strongly suggest we not teach our children and grandchildren to speak or act with brazen attitudes of presumption and entitlement. Instructing them to display respect and deference for their elders is one small gift we may bestow on them. Good manners and social comportment are still important to our culture!
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