Recently, I have discovered I detest platitudes and cliches (especially when they are delivered by friends). If I have ever delivered one of these trite remarks to you when you were anxious, in pain, ill, or stressed, I apologize profusely!
Random House Dictionary defines a platitude as: a flat, dull, or trite remark, especially one uttered as if it were fresh or profound. Platitudes are vapid, commonplace remarks, and they have been around since 18151.
Cliches are almost synonymous, except they are often stereotyped expressions. Cliches may be sentences or phrases that usually express a popular or common thought or idea, that has lost originality, ingenuity, and impact by long overuse, such as "strong as an ox." In art, literature, and drama, a trite or hackneyed plot, character development, use of color or musical expression may be termed a cliche.2 Even the phrase, "I thank you from the bottom of my heart" is considered a cliche.3
When a dear friend or family member is hurting physically or emotionally and is in need of comfort and encouragement, these meaningless utterances are just plain not helpful. Often they are even offered with a moral judgment attached. Again, not helpful! Silence and a hug would be more beneficial.
After the LORD permitted Satan to afflict Job with painful family deaths and debilitating sores from the soles of his feet to the crown of his head (Job 2:7), three of Job's friends heard about his troubles. They set out from their homes, met together, and agreed to go and sympathize with Job and comfort him. When they saw him from a distance, they hardly recognized him. They felt so much empathy, they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads, as a sign of mourning his plight. (Job 2:11-12)
Now comes the best part of the story, "Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him because they saw how great his suffering was." (Job 2:13)
Unfortunately, however, Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar did not stop at silent companionship and empathy. Instead, they began spouting wisdoms that were just not wise! Their statements were not even truthful. They made assumptions and started criticizing Job over and over and over again.
They had no clue that Job's torment and trials literally came to pass because God gave Satan the right to test Job. Satan had been roaming throughout the earth, going back and forth on it looking for someone to torment.
The Lord said to Satan, "Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil." (Job 1:7b - 8) Job's friends did not accept that Job was exactly who he had portrayed to them; instead, they jumped to conclusions and piled on meaningless, hurtful platitudes, assuming he was at fault. Fortunately, though, God knew Job's heart, and even after losing his beloved sons and daughters, Job 1:22 tells us that "Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing."
Job 16:1-5 expresses how I feel about miserable comforters, who do not encourage, do not love, and do not uplift; instead they offer meaningless remarks, cliches, or criticisms:
"Then Job replied:
'I have heard many things like these;
you are miserable comforters, all of you!
Will your long-winded speeches never end?
What ails you that you keep on arguing?
I also could speak like you,
if you were in my place;
I could make fine speeches against you
and shake my head at you.
But my mouth would encourage you;
comfort from my lips would bring you relief.'"
Job 21:34: "So how can you console me with your nonsense?
Nothing is left of your answers but falsehood!"
Job's final word to his friends comes in Job 27:1-6:
"And Job continued his discourse:
'As surely as God lives, who has denied me justice,
the Almighty, who has made my life bitter,
as long as I have life within me,
the breath of God in my nostrils,
my lips will not say anything wicked,
and my tongue will not utter lies.
I will never admit you are in the right;
till I die, I will not deny my integrity.
I will maintain my innocence and never let go of it;
my conscience will not reproach me as long as I live.'"
Job hungers for previous days when he was in his prime, when God's intimate friendship blessed his house, when the Almighty was still with him, and his children were around him.
I know Job's example is extreme for my tirade against platitudes, but my point is this: Think twice before you speak to an afflicted or stressed out friend or family member. We do not have the right to cover anyone with meaningless, trite platitudes. Instead, pause. Love the afflicted one, hug them gently, and comfort them with kind acts and words.
We were not present at the earth's foundation, when the Almighty marked off its dimensions. We did not shut up the sea when it burst forth. We did not give orders to the morning or show dawn its place. We do not comprehend the vast expanses of the earth. We do not know the laws of the heavens.
Job 37:5-7a speaks volumes:
"God's voice thunders in marvelous ways;
he does great things beyond our understanding.
He says to the snow, 'Fall on the earth,'
and to the rain shower, 'Be a mighty downpour.'
So that everyone he has made may know his work,"
All that happens on this earth happens so everyone God has made may know His work and Him! Job's friends did not speak truths. God allowed Job to pray for these men, and God promised to accept Job's prayer on their behalf. Because Job stayed true to God, even amidst crying out in torment, the LORD restored Him. God blessed the latter part of Job's life more than the former, and God's majesty, sovereignty, and power were made manifest.
I beseech you to be careful with platitudes that you throw about, regardless of how well-meaning you think you might be. Comfort, love, and encourage with only God's truths, being careful not to speak when silence and companionship are what are most needed.
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for instructing us about your work and who you are. Let us not try to be mini-gods. Muzzle our mouths when what is best is to be silent and prayerful. Prevent us from spouting trivial garbage, platitudes, and meaningless words. Give us wisdom to speak and act in ways that will truly honor you and show love for your children! May all that we are point to you. Amen.
1. platitudes. Dictionary.com. Online Etymology Dictionary. Douglas Harper, Historian. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/platitudes (accessed: November 10, 2010).
2. cliche. Dictionary.com. Random House Dictionary. Random House, Inc. 2010. Retrieved November 10, 2010, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/cliche
3. cliche. Dictionary.com. The American Heritage New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy, Third Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2005. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/cliche (accessed: November 10, 2010).
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