Avoid Platitudes

Recently, I have discovered I detest platitudes and cliches (especially when they are delivered by friends). If I have ever delivered one of these trite remarks to you when you were anxious, in pain, ill, or stressed, I apologize profusely!

Random House Dictionary defines a platitude as: a flat, dull, or trite remark, especially one uttered as if it were fresh or profound. Platitudes are vapid, commonplace remarks, and they have been around since 18151.

Cliches are almost synonymous, except they are often stereotyped expressions. Cliches may be sentences or phrases that usually express a popular or common thought or idea, that has lost originality, ingenuity, and impact by long overuse, such as "strong as an ox." In art, literature, and drama, a trite or hackneyed plot, character development, use of color or musical expression may be termed a cliche.2 Even the phrase, "I thank you from the bottom of my heart" is considered a cliche.3

When a dear friend or family member is hurting physically or emotionally and is in need of comfort and encouragement, these meaningless utterances are just plain not helpful. Often they are even offered with a moral judgment attached. Again, not helpful! Silence and a hug would be more beneficial.

After the LORD permitted Satan to afflict Job with painful family deaths and debilitating sores from the soles of his feet to the crown of his head (Job 2:7), three of Job's friends heard about his troubles. They set out from their homes, met together, and agreed to go and sympathize with Job and comfort him. When they saw him from a distance, they hardly recognized him. They felt so much empathy, they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads, as a sign of mourning his plight. (Job 2:11-12)

Now comes the best part of the story, "Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him because they saw how great his suffering was." (Job 2:13)

Unfortunately, however, Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar did not stop at silent companionship and empathy. Instead, they began spouting wisdoms that were just not wise! Their statements were not even truthful. They made assumptions and started criticizing Job over and over and over again.

They had no clue that Job's torment and trials literally came to pass because God gave Satan the right to test Job. Satan had been roaming throughout the earth, going back and forth on it looking for someone to torment.

The Lord said to Satan, "Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil." (Job 1:7b - 8) Job's friends did not accept that Job was exactly who he had portrayed to them; instead, they jumped to conclusions and piled on meaningless, hurtful platitudes, assuming he was at fault. Fortunately, though, God knew Job's heart, and even after losing his beloved sons and daughters, Job 1:22 tells us that "Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing."

Job 16:1-5 expresses how I feel about miserable comforters, who do not encourage, do not love, and do not uplift; instead they offer meaningless remarks, cliches, or criticisms:

"Then Job replied:

'I have heard many things like these;

you are miserable comforters, all of you!

Will your long-winded speeches never end?

What ails you that you keep on arguing?

I also could speak like you,

if you were in my place;

I could make fine speeches against you

and shake my head at you.

But my mouth would encourage you;

comfort from my lips would bring you relief.'"

Job 21:34: "So how can you console me with your nonsense?

Nothing is left of your answers but falsehood!"

Job's final word to his friends comes in Job 27:1-6:

"And Job continued his discourse:

'As surely as God lives, who has denied me justice,

the Almighty, who has made my life bitter,

as long as I have life within me,

the breath of God in my nostrils,

my lips will not say anything wicked,

and my tongue will not utter lies.

I will never admit you are in the right;

till I die, I will not deny my integrity.

I will maintain my innocence and never let go of it;

my conscience will not reproach me as long as I live.'"

Job hungers for previous days when he was in his prime, when God's intimate friendship blessed his house, when the Almighty was still with him, and his children were around him.

I know Job's example is extreme for my tirade against platitudes, but my point is this: Think twice before you speak to an afflicted or stressed out friend or family member. We do not have the right to cover anyone with meaningless, trite platitudes. Instead, pause. Love the afflicted one, hug them gently, and comfort them with kind acts and words.

We were not present at the earth's foundation, when the Almighty marked off its dimensions. We did not shut up the sea when it burst forth. We did not give orders to the morning or show dawn its place. We do not comprehend the vast expanses of the earth. We do not know the laws of the heavens.

Job 37:5-7a speaks volumes:

"God's voice thunders in marvelous ways;

he does great things beyond our understanding.

He says to the snow, 'Fall on the earth,'

and to the rain shower, 'Be a mighty downpour.'

So that everyone he has made may know his work,"

All that happens on this earth happens so everyone God has made may know His work and Him! Job's friends did not speak truths. God allowed Job to pray for these men, and God promised to accept Job's prayer on their behalf. Because Job stayed true to God, even amidst crying out in torment, the LORD restored Him. God blessed the latter part of Job's life more than the former, and God's majesty, sovereignty, and power were made manifest.

I beseech you to be careful with platitudes that you throw about, regardless of how well-meaning you think you might be. Comfort, love, and encourage with only God's truths, being careful not to speak when silence and companionship are what are most needed.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for instructing us about your work and who you are. Let us not try to be mini-gods. Muzzle our mouths when what is best is to be silent and prayerful. Prevent us from spouting trivial garbage, platitudes, and meaningless words. Give us wisdom to speak and act in ways that will truly honor you and show love for your children! May all that we are point to you. Amen.

1. platitudes. Dictionary.com. Online Etymology Dictionary. Douglas Harper, Historian. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/platitudes (accessed: November 10, 2010).

2. cliche. Dictionary.com. Random House Dictionary. Random House, Inc. 2010. Retrieved November 10, 2010, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/cliche

3. cliche. Dictionary.com. The American Heritage New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy, Third Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2005. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/cliche (accessed: November 10, 2010).

Ponder

Luke 2:19 But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.

Mary and her betrothed, Joseph, had traveled from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Bethlehem in Judea to register as they were required to do for the census. While they were there, this young girl gave birth to our precious Christ, our Lord and Savior, in a lowly manger.

I wonder how she felt and what she thought when the shepherds showed up. I wonder if she was surprised at their visit.

Luke tells us that Mary conferred within herself; she weighed out everything that she knew. She diligently considered and discerned truth. She purposefully resolved in her mind to believe all that was imparted to her, and she considered everything accurately. She "treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart."

I love that verse - Luke 2:19! I am reminded just how blessed we are to have God's complete, holy word at our disposal. We have been gifted with this treasure, which includes one story, one truth, and one prophesy after another.

Lately I have questioned, "Do I treasure up all of these truths? Do I ponder them in my heart? Do I take having all of God's word at my disposal for granted?"

Strong's defines the word ponder as: to level by rolling a cylinder up and down; to weigh, which is done by holding the balance level; to weigh out or to consider accurately; to diligently consider; to discern, understand, perceive or know the mind of; to observe; give heed to; to have insight; to show oneself discerning or attentive; to perceive with the eyes - to see; with the ears - to hear; with the touch - to feel; to turn the mind to anything - to attend with purpose; to regard and understand; wise understanding; to be intelligent and prudent; to teach or instruct; to meditate, devise, muse, imagine, to study; to celebrate; to speak with oneself, murmuring and in a low voice, as is often done by those who are musing or meditating on anything; to contemplate; to converse with one's self; bring together in one's mind.

These concepts are also found in these verses:

Proverbs 4:26: Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways.

Proverbs 5:6: She gives no thought to the way of life; her paths wander aimlessly, but she does not know it.

Psalm 119:27: Cause me to understand the way of your precepts, that I may meditate on your wonderful deeds.

Proverbs 15:28: The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.

Joshua 1:8: Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.

Psalm 143:5: I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done.

Psalm 1:1-2:

Blessed is the one

who does not walk in step with the wicked

or stand in the way that sinners take

or sit in the company of mockers,

but whose delight is in the law of the LORD,

and who meditates on His law day and night.

Pondering is more than just casual thinking. Pondering involves considering something deeply and thoroughly. It entails weighing a matter mentally; i.e., chewing thoughts and truths over in the mind with careful consideration and diligence.

As we ponder God's truths, we need to appraise or estimate the worth of all He has done for us. Pondering God moves us into full-blown praise of Him and brings us to grateful thanksgiving and celebration of who He is, who He was, and who He will always be!

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for the beautiful story and message you have given us in Luke 2:20. May we emulate the psalmists and Mary by treasuring up all of your truths and pondering them in our hearts. May this be a conscious effort that we make on a daily basis. You and only you are worthy of such attention, time, and praise. May we keep from other distractions and head noise, so we may consider you fully and as completely as our finite minds will allow. Amen.

Memorization

When I was in middle school and high school, I loved participating in extemporaneous speech meets, and I loved acting in plays. If my dad were alive, he would say I was a drama queen and wanted to be the center of attention. Actually, he would refer to me as "Sarah Bernhardt." The Divine Sarah lived from 1844 until 1923 and was often called "the most famous actress the world has ever known,"1 and "the most famous actress of the 19th century."2 She was known for her tendency to over exaggerate and be dramatic.

My father's assessment may be partly right, but my pleasure came from more than just being on the stage. I cherished the excitement of seeing the props magically appear before my eyes. I loved the behind-the-scene sounds of stage workers scurrying about during rehearsals, ensuring that every piece of equipment and ever curtain worked as it should. Working with my peers to bring a play's characters and the story to life was an extraordinary experience.

Running lines and memorizing my specific part challenged me, but when I delivered my part perfectly, I was thrilled. At 16 and 17 years old, I found memorizing page upon page of dialogue fairly easy.

Now that I have moved into the seniors category, I have discovered that memorizing anything is extremely difficult. Even when I finally think I have committed something to memory, I find that a month later, my recall is just not what it used to be at 17. I can remember trivia and factoids I have learned in the past, but I do not do well recalling newly retained information.

I write this as an encouragement to young adults and young parents. While your memories are quick and while your children are young and their brains are like sopping sponges ready to soak up every drop of truth, commit Scripture to your hearts and their minds. Teach your children verse after verse of God's Word.

In the book, "the Word of God in the Child of God," Dr. George Zemek teaches us specifically through reflections on Psalm 119 that a child of God commits the Word of God to his or her heart. God's teachings are precious and are worthy of our memorization efforts.

Psalm 119:2 tells us that "those who keep His statutes and seek Him with all their heart" are blessed. Unless we memorize God's profound teachings, we will not know His commands and precepts.

If we have committed His Word to our hearts, we can follow His ways. We will not put ourselves to shame because we will consider all of His commands. Psalm 119:9 says that a young person can stay on the path of purity by living according to God's Word. Verse 11 tells us that if His Word is hidden in our hearts, we will not sin against Him.

Rejoice with the psalmist! Meditate on God's precepts and consider His ways always! Come to know our precious Lord by not neglecting His Word. Take Proverbs 22:6 seriously:

NIV - "Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it."

KJV - "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

Dear Heavenly Father,

May we teach our children and our grandchildren all about you. May we encourage them to commit your Word to memory, to hide it in their hearts, so when they are old, it is there for safe-keeping and recall. May we also diligently learn your ways, regardless of how old we are. May we honor you and praise you by doing this. Amen.

1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarah_Bernhardt

2. Golden, Eve. "From Stage to Screen: The Film Career of Sarah Bernhardt". http://www.classicimages.com/past_issues/view/?x=1997/june/bernhard.html. Retrieved 2007-10-18.