Homesickness

Tonight I feel a gut-wrenching, soul-screaming sadness - the kind that cuts like a knife and leaves a residual soreness, that just does not want to heal. I yearn to be at the Outer Banks. My mom and dad are buried in North Carolina - am I missing them? Am I missing my brother? Am I missing the beautiful Atlantic Ocean with its swells and salty air? Am I missing the beautiful beach, the dunes, the endless sand? Am I missing the sunrises and sunsets that cannot be matched anywhere in the world? Am I missing the peaceful solitude?

I can literally smell the salt of the sea. I feel the light, constant breeze in my hair. I feel the penetrating warmth of the brilliant sun on my face. I hear the flapping of seagull wings, and their clamoring cawing as they search for food. I hear the gentle roar of the crashing of the waves, and I picture the spectacular oranges, purples, lavenders, and pinks of the evening sky as the sun says goodnight. I remember the silvery shimmer of the morning sun across the ocean, as I watched it through the swaying reeds on the walkway, and I cannot wait to see a new dawn. Oh, how I miss those smells and images! Oh, how I miss the Atlantic's roar!

Where then shall I look for and find my peace? I feel like Job when he cried, "I have no peace, no quiteness; I have no rest, but only turmoil."

Only the LORD gives strength to His people; the LORD blesses them with peace! Quiet the restlessness of my soul; squelch the sadness of my heart and diminish the physical pain and homesickness.

I quietly rest in your words of John 14:27, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,

for I have put my trust in you.

Show me the way I should go,

for to you I lift up my soul."

Psalm 143:8